Last weekend we murdered our good friend, Anna.
Actually, I murdered Anna. Did it with some poison and then a bludgeon. See below.
Our apartment doesn’t have a ton of places to murder someone, so we had to crowd the whole party in the entry, which was actually the “Courtyard” for the evening. Everyone got real close. Jess made a big announcement that the lights were going to go out in three seconds, and that she sure HOPED no one was murdered during the resulting darkness. The lights went out. I cut the twinkling fairy lights we’d hung earlier that day. The room went black and the party counted down: 3, 2, 1!
And then I murdered Anna.
I didn’t know I did it, of course. When you’re at a Murder Mystery Party, it is a surprise to find out that you’re the murdered, but it is also a surprise to find out you’re the murderer. I actually found out after Anna had been outlined on the floor in green tape, when everyone at the party was instructed to open their next set of instructions for ACT II. Mine said: “YOU ARE THE MURDERER! Don’t tell anyone.”
I then had to spend the next hour feverishly accusing other people of the murder I myself had committed, watching as people pieced together the many ways in which I was implicated. I was sure I was going to be caught. Positive. But, in the end, I am proud (and albeit shocked) to say that NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON accused me when the moment came. Not one single person. In fact, the only place my name consistently appeared on the “WHO DUN IT?” ballot was: Best Dressed.
The night I murdered Anna, who was playing Snow White, I was playing the character Herb, one of Snow White’s loyal dwarves. My original character notes did not say much – just that I was adept at all things medicinal and plant-based. And so I set about creating this costume, and literally gluing moss to my phase, and the disguise worked!
No one suspected leafy little Herb in the murder of Snow White! For even though it was common knowledge in the kingdom that the botanist dwarf could coax both poultice and poison from his venomous vegetation, few knew Herb’s true nature and name….which was….HERBICIDE.
Can you believe that I made this joke multiple times during the evening – literally announcing my lethalness – and still no one accused me, the POISONOUS DWARF – of poisoning Snow White? People are always poisoning Snow White. Y’all should have known it’d be Herb. Like my namesake in the 2004 Lindsay Lohan sentient car drama – I, too, was Herby Fully Loaded.
I’ll include some more photos of our incredible decorations below. Shout out to Jess for being the best party planner ever, and to Sal for helping me with lots of these arts and crafts (Jess did, too!), and a big congrats to all my friends who took this VERY SERIOUSLY. I am constantly impressed by not only their commitment to fantastical parties, but also the very gorgeous looks people turned out. A+ work, everyone.
